"Well I got this guitar, and I learned how to make it talk."

Although belated, we'd like to wish a very happy 60th birthday to arguably the greatest American rock-and-roll artist ever, Bruce Springsteen. It always kills me that so many people immediately associate Bon Jovi with Jersey, when in reality, Johnny B couldn't even hold the mic for The Boss.

My parents always tell people a story about when I was maybe 3 years old (there's video evidence to corroborate, unfortunately). Apparently I had one of those Playskool (or equivalent toy-maker) karaoke machines that had a microphone and and a tape player. My parents had a copy of Bruce's Born in the USA, and since it had been out for a while and they weren't really listening to it that much anymore, they gave it to me. Long story short, at age three, I knew every word to "Born in the USA" and used the karaoke machine so much it eventually broke. Then I cried. And then I started playing with Legos.

But I never lost my love for The Boss, and he continues to make excellent music even today. I'll always have a special place in my heart for Born in the USA and his other classic, early records like Born to Run. Still, when you're doing stage slides that end with your crotch in a camera during halftime at the Super Bowl, you're not doing too badly.

Brevity is the Soul of Wit

A few short thoughts on last night's Gossip Girl

1. Is it just me or is Dan Humphrey exponentially more attractive this season? I don't know if it's because he's bulked up or because he's no longer whining about living in Brooklyn but it's serving him well!

2. Funny they were playing the Good Girls Go Bad song which Leighton Meester sings on in the party scene.

3. I miss Nate's boy bangs

4. Serena sucks. If they think getting her involved with Carter is a storyline that will actually lead anywhere the powers that be are clearly mistaken. I'm caring less and less about her.

5. Lily's presence is severely missed.

6. Dan and Georgina - we've been there and done that before. It was excruciating the first time and I'd rather not live through it again.

8. Chuck and Blair are so adorable they really going to give me a cardiac arrhythmia - this isn't healthy.

Rest in Peace Headbands

AOTW: The xx - "The xx"

To the left? That's not an icon alerting you that we've pirated an image (even if that's true). That's the album cover. I kid you not. And if that doesn't tell you just about everything you need to know about this self-titled, debut album from the xx, I'm not sure what will. The hype surrounding this album, written by four kids in London who couldn't even (legally) get a drink in the States, is deafening... ironic for an album so understated in its presentation that you almost forget you're listening to something refreshingly incredible and exciting.

xx won't knock you down, run your town (tonight), and it certainly won't make you party in the USA. But like other great albums this year (the Dirty Projectors' Bitte Orca being one of them), it highlights its influences without ever becoming derivative. Ask a person today about "R&B" and they'll probably hit you with Top 40 offerings by Trey Songz or R. Kelly. The xx aren't going to smash you over the head with slow jamz, but anyone who claims that "Crystalised" isn't hip-swerve-inducing enough to earn the R&B tag is lying to you. And when lead singers Romy Madley Croft and Oliver Sim trade lyrics like "I've been down onto my knees/And you just keep on getting closer/Go slow" there isn't much left to the imagination. Provactive lyrics may permeate, but without stellar songwriting, xx would fall flat. When the bass makes its first transition at the beginning of the chorus in "Islands," it's clear that something has happened. It's sexy, and the whole album is filled with moments like that... hell, "Infinity" sounds like it could've been a B-side to Chris Isaak's "Wicked Games!" And he looked like this!! (The xx look like this, if you're curious).

Maybe xx will hit you on the first listen. Maybe it'll take some time. Regardless, in a year that's seen most of its "high profile" albums released and digested already, the xx have come along and dropped what will surely be one of the best albums, debut or otherwise, of the year. Cheers.

Music for a Rainy Day

If you know me you know that I like some pretty embarassing things. One of the things near the top of the list is Miley Cyrus songs. They're just too damn catchy, but I feel a little ill every time I realize I'm singing "It's a party in the USA." One thing I can admit is just how woeful Miley's voice is - just a level below nails on a chalkboard in my opinion. That's why I'm so happy when far more talented artists cover said songs. For your listening pleasure check out the ridiculous harmonies Kelly Clarkson and her touring mates Jill and Kate add to "The Climb." Happy Saturday!

NBC's Thursday Night Comedy

A very quick, very dirty review of first impressions from the premiers of NBC's Thursday night comedy line-up (sans 30 Rock):

SNL Weekend Update Thursday - Completely unnecessary. I understand that this was widely popular during the run-up to the election last year, but a.) you had Tina Fey as Sarah Palin and b.) well... Tina Fey! I think Seth Meyers is a great writer and has clearly ushered in a new era of SNL watchability, but this format needs to go away quickly. Most of the bits were unfunny (Kristen Wiig is becoming one of my least-favorite cast members), and "Really?!? With Seth and Amy" missed the most obvious subjects of ridicule... the public (over)reaction to Kanye/Serena!
Grade: D

Parks and Recreation - Season 1 definitely ended on a high-note with "Rock Show," and this season started strong with "Pawnee Zoo." The concept of Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) getting in trouble for marrying two male penguins is both hilarious and a little too realistic. Although I'm interested in how they'll move forward with the budding relationship between Ann (Rashida Jones) and Mark (Paul Schneider), I'm sad to see that Andy (Chris Pratt) will likely have a smaller role in the show... he killed in the season finale last year! I really hope people start watching this show, and I know that the writers will start using Aziz Ansari and Aubrey Plaza more. Underwriting for those two would be a crime.
Grade: B

The Office - I have to say it: this show is getting unwatchable. It's not necessarily bad, but it's less and less funny, and the mini-renaissance it had last year with the Michael Scott Paper Company plot line is over. I understand that they work from a very specific concept, but the scenarios they're writing are just unbelievable. No one is as dumb as Michael, and I think that was proved with this week's ludicrous "Start rumors to hide rumors" plot. I feel like I'm watching The Office out of loyalty to their earlier seasons, which is never a good thing. It's not something I look forward to every week, and while I hope they can turn it around, I'm worried this cast has become stale.
Grade: C+

Community - What can we really say after just one show? A lot of the really funny scenes were in the extended preview that NBC gave us a while back, so there wasn't a lot of new plot or dialogue on display (although the test answer tete-a-tete between Joel McHale and John Oliver was pretty funny). That being said, I feel like the cast has a lot of potential to display strong chemistry, and it'll be very interesting to see where they take the show over the course of a season (right now, the plot is relatively narrow). Still too early to call, but I'm predicting a solid first season.
Grade: B-

Oh look... music!

Since we haven't given you any music info recently (Fall TV premiers are pretty time-consuming), here are a few quick hits to end the week. Next week, we should be more on top of things!

Pavement reunion tour - If you know who Pavement are, then this is the most life-altering, world-shattering, orgasmic announcement of all-time. If you don't know who Pavement are, then it doesn't matter. Apparently, there's no middle ground in the debate. I guess that makes sense, but maybe everyone should just take a second to breathe. They're a band, and they're good, and that's about it.

New Moon Soundtrack - I feel like some kind of cosmic joke is going on. First Harry Potter consumes the interests of people over the age of 14, and now these vampire movies with that pale-looking guy and that girl who's always high has a soundtrack that's being filled with the likes of Grizzly Bear, Thom Yorke, Bon Iver, Death Cab For Cute, and the Killers (okay, that one makes sense). To make things more confusing, these bands are writing new material for the soundtrack! I'm waiting for the punchline...

Stephen Colbert: Music Aficionado - You didn't need to read about Colbert in Rolling Stone to know that he's got great taste in music. In the past, he's had TV on the Radio, The Decemberists (many times), and Wilco... and let's not forget Feist and Elvis Costello making a cameo in Colbert's Christmas album! This week, Colbert had on the Flaming Lips, who performed a song from their forthcoming album Embryonic, "Convinced of the Hex." He also interviewed Wayne Coyne, which was pretty great and seen here. In the future, Colbert is also having The Mountain Goats on for some old-fashioned, acoustic emotion... your move, Glenn Beck!


Drake - Oh my God, I don't know how this is happening. How can you go from being a Canadian TV teen star (inherently funny) who's character is in a wheelchair to one of the most popular hip-hop artists anywhere?? It's truly mind-boggling and absurd, but what's even more surprising is that he's not bad. At all. In fact, a couple of songs off the official release of So Far Gone (read: not free on the mixtape) show just how good Drake might actually be. "Fear" and "I'm Goin' In" show an artist who's clearly confident (whether appropriately so or not) and who has something interesting to say. Watch your back, Weezy.

"Confidence Cohen"

If you can name the show and character the title quote is from you win a prize.


Tonight's episode of Glee was all about confidence - something that grows everytime I watch the show. Though there was a glaring lack of Sue Sylvester, this was another solid showing with possibly the best musical numbers thus far. I must admit I squealed a little bit when Victor Garber showed up as Mr. Schuester's dad. From Titanic to Legally Blonde to Alias the man can do no wrong in my book. The only thing that could have been better would have been if he had sung...maybe next time. Now that we are on episode 3 it's time for the writers to start bringing depth to the characters and hopefully the introduction of the parents is a step in that direction. Similarly thus far the wife has been pretty one-dimensional and hateable. Tonight gave her a bit of redeeming quality as she appreciated that performing made Will himself again. The most revealed character in this episode however was Kurt. I like how they wove in snapshots of his relationship with his father within the snappy dialogue and how he masked his pain with materialism. When he finally came out to Mercedes with that tear in his eye....wonderful.

Now on to the music. First off the Acafellas....brilliant (though I was a big fan of Testostertones as well.) I could listen to Matthew Morrison sing the phonebook but busting out 90's favorites like "Poison" and "I Wanna Sex You Up" is just unfair. The real standouts of the night for me were "Mercy" and "Bust Your Windows." Though the first was an ensemble number it once again showed the ridiculous amount of talent they incorporate in this show. The choreography and dancers were phenomenal AND I think I spotted another SYTYCD alum in Lauren from Season 3. Now I'm a big Jazmin Sullivan fan but I think maybe, just maybe Amber Riley out did her on her own song. Where this girl came from I don't know (her IMDB page doesn't even offer any clues) but if she keeps destroying songs like this I'd bet we'll see an album from her sooner rather than later.

All in all another satisfying episode. Oh and in case you were confused - Dakota Stanley was great but by no means is he any Sparky Polastri

P.S. I wish I had this line when I was teaching...
"I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits. That's the smell of failure and it's stinking up my office."

You've Got To Be Kidding...

No. Fucking. Way. This girl? Again? Really?!?! I have no idea how long Microsoft has been running this manipulative piece of communist propoganda, but I do know that I'll be watching it until at least October 22nd. Just when you think your world is free of cute, tiny Asian girls named Kylie, Microsoft is RIGHT THERE to completely shatter your life and melt away your heart! There are an unending number of things that are completely infuriating about these 30 seconds of marketing mind-control, but a few jump out:

1. Still no parents? Has this girl been fending for herself with a PC for the past year and a half?? Hopefully she at least has some badass games like Number Munchers. That game was legit.
   
2. She talks about finding "happy words" all over her "dad's" computer but then can't even pronounce the word responsive. And she doesn't just mispronounce it... she somehow twists the word so badly/cutely that it triggers an entirely uncontrollable and unconscious feeling of happiness all over! What the hell?!!?!
3. The cute little Asian girl wasn't enough, was it Microsoft? Nope. She needs to make a slide show with kitties and bunnies and unicorns. They're determined to make you vomit sunshine and shit rainbows! And by the way, talk about your one-trick ponies... LEARN SOME OTHER SOFTWARE! Maybe make an Excel spreadsheet and do something worthwhile, like track the number of hours you've been unsupervised for the last year. Christ!
   
4. Adding "Final Countdown" as the background music was a sly touch, Microsoft. You rope in ladies with the cuteness and then BAM! The most revered stadium rock song of all-time starts blaring. Your juxstaposition confused me. Touche.

I think we can all agree... this is an insufferable ad campaign that must be stopped. I encourage everyone to write letters to their congressmen/women, boycott Microsoft, and scowl at every Asian child you see. Together, we can make it through October 22nd.

America's Moral Outrage Over Kanye West!

Full disclosure: I didn't watch the VMAs last night. Besides having an almost allergic reaction every time I hear/see anything on MTV, there were much better things to watch. But I didn't need to see it to know that something "shocking" happened between Kanye West and Taylor Swift. While obviously an abnormal event, the indignation over what happened and the reaction to the incident are really surprising in light of both history and the reality of the situation. If you will:

1. Let's not forget that he was right. Beyonce's video was better. Audra said it. I'm saying it. It's not debatable.
2. The most incredible thing about the reaction is the apparent shock. Not that it's an excuse, but he's done this time and time and time again. The last thing anyone should be is surprised.
3. So Kanye stole Ms. Swift's "moment." Really? Winning an MTV Video Music Award is a "moment?" I mean, obviously, it matters to Kanye (a lot). But we're talking about a girl who's had experience with award nominations AND wins. Granted, her breakthrough as a "country" artist on MTV is significant, but let's not make this a bigger deal than it is.
4. More indignation: "She's just a girl!" Yeah, she's 19, but she's also a platinum-selling recording artist who's listed on Forbe's Most Powerful Celebrities list. Maybe she's a little more mature than your average 19 year-old. And by the way... anyone who looks like that isn't allowed to talk about how the football players don't notice her. Period.
5. If you're a conspiracy theorist, consider this: everyone benefitted from the situation. MTV did... the VMAs are all anyone talked about this morning. Beyonce looks like a gracious matron of pop stars. Taylor Swift (if possible) becomes more sympathetic and even more popular. And Kanye, ever the purveyor of the old adage "no press is bad press," has people talking about him. Who's to say this wasn't cleverly planned? (Note: I don't believe this because the reactions seemed genuine. But still...)

I don't think anyone would defend Kanye's actions. He's a dolt, and yes... undoubtedly egotistical. But why anyone would be up in arms, surprised, or self-righteous about his award-show improvisation is either ignorant to the past or just looking for something to complain about. Let's not forget, these are musicians worth millions and millions of dollars. They'll probably be okay. Let's save the outrage for things that really matter.

That being said, I'd probably cry if he did that to me, too... I'm just sensitive like that.

(Photo: Jason DeCrow/AP via LA Times)

AOTW: Benjy Ferree - "Come Back to the Five and Dime, Bobby Dee Bobby Dee"

Executive decision: If either Audra or I go to a concert, the Album of the Week will highlight that artist. Wednesday night, Benjy Ferree is playing at the Drunken Unicorn in Atlanta, and although he isn't getting top billing (that goes to The Black Hollies), his Come Back to the Five and Dime, Bobby Dee Bobby Dee makes it worth the trip.

If you're interested in the source material for the album, then you can read about "Bobby Dee," aka, Bobby Driscoll at our favorite research source. Essentially, Driscoll, a baby-faced Disney child star struggled through adolescence, turned to drugs, and eventually died young. An E! True Hollywood Story if there ever was one (and maybe Lindsay Lohan should take notice). As far as central characters go, few are as compelling, and Ferree tackles him with focused intensity. For those of us unfamiliar with Driscoll, many of the references are lost. But that doesn't mean the music is bad. Album highlight "Fear" is both beautiful and haunting, and it resonates well after the first (or 40th) listen. The themes and characters flow easily into and out of the album, and after a few listens, some of Driscoll's story starts coming through.

Albums with themes and story arcs are clearly nothing new, but Come Back to the Five and Dime is surely one of the best in the past few years.

"For God and the Gays" - VMA Ruminations

The VMAs no longer have as much cultural influence as they did in the heyday of MTV but they still provide some entertaining moments. I came into the show really looking forward to the Michael Jackson tribute and Lady Gaga's VMA debut. Here are few of my thoughts from the show.

Maybe it was because I was focused on cooking my dinner but at first I thought Madonna's speech was awkward. Listening to it a second time at the beginning of the replay I appreciated her honesty and it actually seemed to come from the heart. The tribute was perfect in that it focused on the moves that made Michael a star and helped make MTV a success. Janet's appearance gave me immediate chills and I love that how she was able to dance alongside her brother once again in one of my favorite dance routines ever. It was also awesome how she was surrounded by some of the most prominent choreographers of today (Wade Robson, Tina Landon, Laurie Ann Gibson, Brian Friedman, Tyce Diorio..I couldn't place the others) who no doubt wanted to support their friend.


Kanye vs. Taylor Swift - I totally agree with him in that Beyonce was WAY more deserving but you just DON'T DO THAT! Looks like he'll have to do some heavy lifting to regain any shred of likeability after this gaffe....aaaaand the VMAs just broke Twitter.

Lady Gaga's first bold move was performing "Paparazzi" instead of her other singles. I'm pretty sure one of her dancers was on the audition episode of SYTYCD this week - can anyone confirm this? And just in case you didn't believe the dance world is small there goes Mark from Season 4! You knew things couldn't stay relatively tame for too long with Gaga on the stage - out comes the wheelchair, crutch and blood. Performance art much? Regardless the choreography was tight and you gotta give her props for always bringing something new.

Beyonce comes out looking ridiculously amazing per usual and sounded great - actual singing! Some people may think Single Ladies is played out but the visual of having all those girls up there in unison was spectacular.

Eminem is scary skinny now...and did he really need a bodyguard onstage?

Pink gets credit for pulling off her acrobatic act even if she wasn't singing (it was hard to tell)

How many outfits did Lady Gaga bring tonight?

Beyonce totally deserved Video of the Year and by letting Taylor Swift come out and have her moment showed that she is just as classy a person as she is amazing performer.

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys killed it. Period. But who told Lil' Mama to go onstage?

Another VMAs has come and gone and it again has done what it does best...got people talking. The internets are abuzz and heaven knows we'll be hearing about Kanye for days to come. Odds that the Today show covers it tomorrow??

Some Music, Some TV

"Behind The Music: Lil' Wayne" - It's happening tonight, I believe at 10pm, on VH1. If you've ever seen a Lil' Wayne interview, then you know this is basically required viewing. We're talking about a guy who just made about eleventy billion dollars on tour. At the very least, set your DVR!


Ellen DeGeneres as 4th judge on Idol - Guest judges are still around until after the auditions phase, at which point Ellen will undoubtedly serve as a source of funny sarcasm to counterbalance Simon Cowell's douchy sarcasm. [CNN]

Glee - To the delight of former high school show choir members everywhere (and probably current members, too), Glee had its proper premiere last night. We haven't seen it yet, but expect Audra to write about this show, probably with great joy. And let's be honest, Jane Lynch is good in basically everything she does. Hey, I need a reason to watch it too!

Stephen Colbert Interview in Rolling Stone - So I completely forgot why or how this happened, but I got an issue of Rolling Stone in the mail yesterday. One of their cover stories lists 50 reasons to watch TV, and their #1 reason is Colbert. The magazine has a pretty interesting article about Colbert that delves into some pretty heavy stuff (loss of family, religion, work ethic). Online, you can find a couple of extras, including more interview fodder and a profile that wasn't included with the print article.

The Beatles Remasters: Available Today/In a Month

Months and months after they were first rumoured (yeah, we're going with British spelling for this one) to be happening, the much-anticipated Beatles Remasters hit stores today... although it's unclear whether any store actually has copies of either the Stereo (shown to the left) or Mono box sets that fans so desperately want. Amazon.com told me I'd have to wait 2-4 weeks for my $180 investment to arrive (although the order is available for FREE Super Saver Shipping)... and if you're looking for the Mono set, you'll be waiting even longer (3-6 weeks) and paying more ($230) for less music. Why less music? Well, mono was the primary method of listening to music in the 60s, and the band, along with legendary producer George Martin, spent the majority of their time mixing the albums for mono instead of stereo. But by the tail-end of their recording career, personal listening trends had shifted, and mono mixes were never recorded for Yellow Submarine, Abbey Road, or Let It Be.

These remastered reissues, which coincide with the release of The Beatles: Rock Band, are said to be the last piece of The Beatles' archive. Although we could very well imagine a vinyl reissue at some point in the future, and regardless of the fact that our ears may not be sensitive enough to notice the subtle differences between Stereo and Mono versions, these reissues are being widely heralded for their overall improvement in sound quality. While expensive and in short supply, The Beatles Remasters are now the definitive discography for a band that has deserved every superlative its been given.
(Photo: Apple Records, via CNET)

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

No it's not Christmas...it's even better - FALL TV PREMIERE season is here!! If you're like me you've somehow survived the summer with the endless Bones and Law and Order reruns on TNT and the ever reliable onslaught of reality shows (Did anyone else enjoy Dating in the Dark as much as I did?). But now TV lovers the time is here to embrace the return of old favorites and check out the networks' freshest offerings. Not sure when your shows are coming back? Check out the calendar here. I'll be previewing some returns and premieres over the coming weeks so if there is a new show that's piqued your interest but you're not ready to commit to watching let me know and I'll do the dirty work for you.

The WB gets things started tonight with the return of 90210 and the premiere of the Melrose Place reboot. Last season's finale left us with things getting a little shaken up at West Beverly. Silver was smooching Ethan who seemed keen to go"find himself," Kelly flirted things up with the principal and Annie went crazy and ran someone over. Since we know that Ethan got the boot for Season 2 we'll have to see where they go with this storyline and also watch for the introduction of some new characters that have been rumored. While the show is campy at best it never lost its entertainment value and for that it retains a coveted spot on my DVR lineup.

Quite honestly I probably watched a few shows back in the day that were a little too mature for my age. While the original 90210 was one of them, I can't say the same for Melrose Place. I am aware of the huge cultural impact this early primetime soap had on TV thus this new version has quite the shoes to fill. With a cast who's headliner is Ashlee Simpson I'm not expecting much but it will be interesting to see if they can bring the same appeal that's reinvigorated the 90210 franchise to this show.

Those of you who need advanced warning go ahead and set your DVRs for Wednesday night as ANTM, Glee and SYTYCD all make their appearances! We'll be back with all the deets tomorrow - Happy TV Watching!!!

Intercepted By Warlords

I'm not sure how most of you spent your three-day weekend. A lot of you probably did something awesome and active like camping or hiking or tailgating all day for your school's first football game. That's all well and good, but I'm pretty sure I spent my weekend better than everyone: I watched the first two seasons of NewsRadio. Along with Twin Peaks, it's one of the few shows of the early-mid 90s that I've always wanted to watch, and although I've seen some of the episodes, watching it as a marathon is pretty amazing. However, it's a little depressing seeing Phil Hartman steal almost every episode and know that he was killed in such a horrendous way, right in the prime of his career. Having seen the majority of his later work on Saturday Night Live and loving every one of his characters on The Simpsons, it's been refreshing to watch him completely own the character of Bill McNeal. Since I'm feeling nostalgic, enjoy what is arguably the most memorable Phil Hartman sketch of all time: "Clinton at McDonald's" Also, Audra is back for fall TV previews. I know, don't get too excited. Happy four-day week!

AOTW: The Strokes - "Is This It?"

It's kind of hard to believe that 8 years have passed since Is This It? was released. In 2001, you couldn't read a music website or magazine without seeing a Strokes reference, so when the physical album finally hit stores, it almost felt late. Like we'd been waiting for it forever. Combine that with the fact that the album "sounded old," and well, of course people made ridiculous comparisons no band could really live up to. Especially on a debut album.

But man, what a debut... when you've got a guy named Julian Casablancas on lead vocals, he'd better sound this laid back, with a complete "who gives a shit" attitude. The composition is basic, but it's relentless. The slowly-building title track (and album opener) sets up the theme of pulsating eighth-notes perfectly, and by the time you get to "Last Nite," unquestionably the most popular song on the album, you've already remembered how great the whole thing is. There's not a bad track on Is This It?, and their choice for album title is pretty terrific in retrospect. "Is this all there is to music?" "Is this the best we'll ever be?" "Is this what you were wanting?" No. Kind of. Abso-fucking-lutely.

Commentary, Pt. 4: Pitchfork Top 500 of the 2000s

There's not much more to talk about with this list (especially since most people probably couldn't care less), but we want to end with looking at some of the artists that made multiple appearances. Although a lot of groups had at least two songs on the Top 500, no one had more than four; which is surprising when you consider how Pitchfork often plays favorites. Below is a list of the artists with 3 songs in the Top 500 (average ranking in parentheses):

• LCD Soundsystem (12)
• Hot Chip (50)
• Daft Punk (56)
• The White Stripes (68)
• M.I.A. (84)
• Arcade Fire (117)
• Missy Elliott (117)
• Spoon (122)
• Clipse (134)
• Belle and Sebastian (144)
• Phoenix (144)
• Eminem (177)
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs (182)
• Grizzly Bear (202)
• Sufjan Stevens (215)
• The Strokes (219)
• Cat Power (242)

Anyone who reads Pitchfork knows that they have a dance-music infatuation, and that's clearly evident with LCD Soundsystem, Hot Chip, and Daft Punk garnering the highest average rankings of artists with three songs. As you move down the list (and the picks become more arbitrary), you start seeing other Pitchfork favorites. Still, if you'd told me that Sufjan's average song rank would be 215, I'm not sure I'd believe you.

Although 17 artists nabbed three songs selections on the Top 500, only 6 found four of their tracks on the list:

• Jay-Z (44)
• Animal Collective (59)
• Outkast (69)
• Radiohead (86)
• Kanye West (101)
• Destiny's Child/Beyonce (138)

It may be a little surprising to see four of the six artists fall into the hip-hop/R&B genre, especially for this cadre of critics. Animal Collective notwithstanding, I don't think anyone would argue with this group being some of the most hit-worthy in the industry, and they're custom-built for any Best-Of list for individual tracks.

If nothing else, we hope these posts have inspired you to go back in your music library and re-listen to some songs that've maybe laid dormant for a while. As always, lists like these (and their non-scientific analyses) have to be taken with a grain of salt. But they're fun to talk about, and with the invention of music services like Lala and Imeem, you actually get to listen to each of them and make your own decisions. Have a great Labor Day, stay safe, and listen to great music!

UPDATE: The End of Music?

Although a Lil' Wayne remix of Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" sounds like it should be the final catalyst that causes all music to implode, T-Pain has given that song a run for it's money. Although, let's be honest... everyone is going to download this app. It's gonna make, like, a zillion dollars. SHAWWTY!

Commentary, Pt. 3: Pitchfork Top 500 of the 2000s

After spending an inordinate amount of time trying to determine which year had the best music, we settled on some ill-conceived algorithm that used the average ranking of the top 5 songs from each year. Completely arbitrary. Well, maybe it would be a good idea to at least tell you what a couple of those songs were. Below is the order of "Good Music Years" with the top 2 songs from each year (and their overall rank in parentheses). There are some pretty great tracks, and we offer comments for each, whether you wanted them or not:

2003
Beyonce - "Crazy In Love" (4) [No way is this the best Beyonce song. Period.]
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Maps" (6) [A little surprised that such a relatively bland song climbed all the way to #6. Yeah, it's a good song, but #6? Come on.]
2000
Outkast - "B.O.B." (1) [Great track, but the only way you could make a case that this is better than "Hey Ya" is that Big Boi was on it.]
Daft Punk - "One More Time" (5) [Such a fun, happy song. Really pushed them into the mainstream]
2007
LCD Soundsystem - "All My Friends" (2) [Um... wow. I love James Murphy as much as the next guy, but #2? Wow.]
M.I.A. - "Paper Planes" (3) [Not sure you can argue this one. Ubiquitous doesn't even begin to describe how pervasive this song became.]
2002
LCD Soundsystem - "Losing My Edge" (13) [Snarkiest, funniest song on the entire list.]
The Knife - "Heartbeats" (15) [Always thought both the band and the song were overrated. This does nothing to quell that feeling.]
2004
Arcade Fire - "Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)" (10) [One of the great opening tracks off any album this decade.]
Annie - "Heartbeat" (17) [Clearly, heartbeats were a popular topic for songs.]
2005
Gnarls Barkley - "Crazy" (11) [Unbelievable how intolerable this song is. Almost completely unlistenable. Thanks, radio!]
Kelly Clarkson - "Since U Been Gone" (21) [This should be in the Top 10. End of discussion. Is there a more anthemic song from any year??]
2001
Missy Elliott - "Get Ur Freak On" (7) [A little surprised by how high this one went, but can't argue with it. Incredibly cool song that still sounds original.]
Daft Punk - "Digital Love" (23) [Not as commercially successful as "One More Time," but just as good.]
2006
Justin Timberlake - "My Love" (26) [When is his next album coming out? Why do we have to wait 3-4 years??]
Hot Chip - "I Was a Boy From School" (29) [Completely shocked by this. Great song, never would have guessed it was the second-best song of 2006.]
2008
Hercules & Love Affair - "Blind" (18) [Ridiculous.]
Fleet Foxes - "White Winter Hymnal (66) [Just about as ridiculous.]
2009
Animal Collective - "My Girls" (9) [Obvious.]
Dirty Projectors - "Stillness Is The Move" (115) [Just about as obvious.]

So there you go. The best two songs from each year, according to your friends at Pitchfork. A lot has been made of their infatuation with certain groups/genres (i.e. LCD Soundsystem, Daft Punk, Animal Collective, IDM [intelligent dance music]) and how they're disproportionately represented at the top. To which I would respond, "Who cares?" It's what they like! And it's fun to argue why certain songs do/don't belong at the top.

Our final analysis of the Top 500 will look at the artists and labels with the most songs on the list and hypothesize why they may be on there...

The Chris Brown Situation

Can we please just settle something? Because it's been bothering me for a while and this blog was down for a long time and I don't feel like I ever got a chance to say it. But recent events have rekindled a fire, and I just need to get it off my chest:

Chris Brown is a chode.


I mean, look at him! Sure, you could make fun of his atrocious choice of Carolina blue, the fact that he almost looks asleep while being interviewed by Larry Fucking King, or that bowtie (really, a bowtie?). But clearly, none of those reasons adequately explain why Chris Brown is such a chode. If you had the unfortunate inclination to actually watch the interview yesterday, I feel sorry for you. If you didn't get a chance, let me summarize:

Larry King: Obviously this was a horrible incident. What do you remember from that night?
Chode Brown: Man, it was like, oh my God. I can't believe this. It's all so crazy to me. Like, wow.
Larry: So you're saying you don't remember?
Attorney + Mom: He already answered that. Next question.

So he's, uhhh, clearly learned his lesson? He's not going to hit another woman? Really?

A defense I've actually heard a surprising number of people argue is that "He's just a young kid who's made a mistake. How much do you want him to suffer? Do you really never want him to make music again? Let's just move on." I'd like to address each one of those statements/questions:

1. "He's just a young kid" - He's not that young, but all right. I'm reasonable. I will grant that he is, in fact, a kid (technically speaking).
2. "[He's] made a mistake" - a.) this isn't the first time it's happened, so that singular noun needs to get the hell out and b.) yes, he's made a mistake. I think we can all agree that he's made a really, really big mistake that any normal person would be punished for.
3. "How much do you want him to suffer?" - Come on! That makes me sound mean! I don't want the guy to suffer, but something should happen, given that he "punched [Rihanna] in the left eye. He then drove away and continued to punch her in the face … caus[ing] her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle*" Mike Vick went to prison for two years... Chris Brown has 6 months of community service and 5 years of probation. His sentence is basically what most good people do every day. Congrats.
4. "Do you really never want him to make music again?" - I mean, he's a pretty good singer, and I like some of his songs. But is the world that much worse of a place without Chris Brown's music? Probably not. Is the world a more depressing place with people who abuse women, don't go to jail, and have the opportunity to do the same thing again? Probably.
5. "Let's just move on."

And number 5 is the biggest reason why he's such a chode. He's getting a free pass to move on. Let's just imagine for a second that you had no idea who was involved in this police report. It boils down to a pretty simple truth: he beat the shit out of a girl. It doesn't matter that she's famous. It doesn't matter that he had a rough upbringing. It doesn't even matter that Rihanna didn't want to press charges. What matters is that he lost his temper and repeatedly, physically assaulted a girl. He isn't a victim of the media and he isn't someone we should feel bad for.

He's just a chode.

* From wwtdd.com

Commentary, Pt. 2: Pitchfork Top 500 of the 2000s

Lists like the Top 500 Songs of the 2000s are great because they offer a jumping-off point for a conversation that could last days. Since these lists are inherently subjective, and since I have a simple engineer's brain, finding objective trends in that sea of personal opinion is always fun. We saw yesterday that, based on sheer number of songs in the Top 500, the order of years in terms of "quality music" is as follows:

1. 2003 (63)
   
2. 2005 (61)
   
3. 2002 (60)
   
4. 2000 (59)
   
5. 2006 (58)
   
6. 2001 (52)
   
7. 2004 (51)
   
8. 2007 (48)
   
9. 2008 (33)
   
10. 2009 (15)
    

Clearly, that's a blunt instrument for measuring quality, so the question becomes how to best analyze the rankings. Maybe average rank of songs from each year is the best mechanism? Maybe the median? Not surprisingly, things change significantly when you look at statistics like that. Using the average rank (the median was essentially the same) for songs released in a given year, the hierarchy of "quality music" then becomes:

1. 2007
2. 2001
3. 2005
4. 2000
5. 2003
6. 2002
7. 2006
8. 2004
9. 2008
10. 2009

What would cause such a large-scale change in the order of years? A cynic (or statistician) would say that the smaller sample size allows for a higher ranking, and there is undoubtedly some sample bias inherent in the calculation. Or maybe music from 2007 was just better? But we already said that ranking 500 songs is ludicrous. What would actually qualify as "the best music?" The top 250? 100? How about 50? If all years were equal, each would likely have have 5 songs in the Top 50? Maybe a good idea would be to analyze the overall rank of the top 5 songs from each year... for example, if the 5 best songs from 2004 were ranked 5, 10, 15, 20, and 25 overall, the Average Top 5 ranking for 2004 would be 15. Well, when we ran the numbers for the past decade, our Average Top 5 ranking comes out like this:

1. 2003 (13)
2. 2000 (14)
3. 2007 (17)
4. 2002 (18)
5. 2004 (25)
6. 2005 (27)
7. 2001 (34)
8. 2006 (40)
9. 2008 (69)
10. 2009 (144)

What falls out are some pretty obvious tiers, which in all honesty is probably the best way to look at something like this. Occupying the Top Tier would be 2000, 2002, 2003, and 2007 (interesting, since 3 out of 4 of those years had the most overall songs in the Top 500... we get quantity and quality). 2001, 2004, 2005, and 2006 occupy a Middle Tier; however, I'm not willing to call 2008 and 2009 the "Bottom Tier." Let's just say "Not Yet Appreciated" and leave it at that.

Tomorrow, we'll actually dive into some of the songs from each year, and maybe try to defend and/or argue the inclusion of a few.

The End of Music?

It's a legitimate question. Don't think that just because two months have passed and music still exists means we're in the clear...



PS. Do yourself a favor and listen to the Song of the Day, "Forever." I don't know what Drake has on the world of rap (pictures of Eminem playing with a kitten? Lil Wayne's spaceship? proof that Kanye watched Degrassi?), but he's keeping royal company these days (he's also on Jay-Z's Blueprint 3). Regardless, he holds his own... until Eminem shows up, sounding interested and inspired to rap again. Not bad, gentleman. Not bad at all.

Commentary, Pt. 1: Pitchfork Top 500 of the 2000s

So I doubt many people who read GSATW visit Pitchfork on a daily basis. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that a large percentage of people who do make the daily click on that site wouldn't admit it anyway. Pitchfork, an original online purveyor of indie rock criticism, has apparently turned into the pariah of a scene they helped build. Now, most trendy, hip blogs and legitimate sites continually knock Pitchfork, regardless of the quality of their material. Say what you want, but it's fairly clear that they're still a cornerstone of the indie rock community, and what they write has weight.

During the rest of the year, Pitchfork is releasing a number of features centered around "Music of the 2000s," and their first piece is probably the most ambitious (and foolhardy?): the Top 500 Songs of the 2000s. The link will take you straight to #20-1, with links to all 480 other songs. Breaking down each of them would be a complete waste of time... how could anyone say whether the #287 song is better or worse than the #172 song. Rather, we're going to play with some data in Excel and pop out some information... hopefully providing some interesting analysis to the discussion (although probably not). This isn't a novel idea, and I'm sure other site have done it much better and with much prettier graphics.

Our first foray into the list is a simple one: to determine which year had the most songs on the list.

So what's notable (besides the horrible blurriness)? Well, the pollsters clearly needed a few years to fully put a song's importance in perspective (insert sarcasm, eye-rolling). The list is heavy on songs from 2000-2005, and while we're obviously only 8 months into 2009, there's no reason to believe that this year only has 15 of the 500 best songs of the entire decade. From this graph, it would appear that 2000, 2002, 2003, 2005, and 2006 would be the best years for music in the 2000s, although we're going to analyze that claim a lot more throughout the week.