Adios Alabama

I love how 30% of an episode of the Bachelor is either review or preview. Maybe the producers are on to the fact that the majority of their viewers (including myself) have an attention span of about 7 minutes. Plus it’s hard to keep up with all the chicks that Jason keeps making out with! I have to say I was pretty charmed by the single dad when he got his heart crushed by DeAnna and expected him to be a different kind of Bachelor...especially since he’s basically pimping out his 3-year old for booty. However he has gone the way of Andrew Firestone, Charlie O’Connell and many other bachelors before him in slipping his tongue down the throat of just about every tart that shows up.

Jason returns home to his little boy Ty. In the process he reveals that he’s only been away from him about a week. Deep inside I know that they stretch out these episodes like none other but it makes the whole prospect of these women saying they are falling in love with him even creepier when you think about the fact that they’ve literally know him for 7 DAYS!!

Jason picks Melissa for a one on one date. I respect the fact that he didn’t let her meet the kid yet – it can’t be healthy for a kid to see Daddy dating 5 women at once. Highlight of Melissa’s date is as she’s talking about how she doesn’t normally take guys to meet her family “I’m only doing it because there’s something special about you that I want them to see”…. or because the producers and ABC are forcing you to.

Fashion faux pas of the night- Stephanie’s fur vest. I know you’re from Alabama but do you really have to dress like you’re from Alabama? The radio station date was pretty boring though I do give Jason props for finding yet another way to make out with all of the girls in the same room on live radio…ballsy.

I must admit that I have a Bachelor girl crush on Jillian. First off she’s Canadian – instant cool points. And from the beginning (even with the cheesy hot dog shtick) she’s seemed super normal and someone I would totally be friends with. Maybe the limited syndication in Canada shielded her from the fact that most of the women on this show are vapid and desperate. I kind of hope that Jason doesn’t pick her – 1) because I think she’s too good for him and 2) she would make a kick-ass Bachelorette.

Rose ceremony time – Naomi’s face is really shiny…like putting J.Lo to shame with the amount of bronzer and body shimmer she is wearing. Maybe that’s why Jason is so dazzled by her. First rose – Jillian!! I really thought ABC might want to save money on flights to Canada with the recession and all but hooray for her. 2^nd rose – Melissa – not surprising. 3^rd rose – Molly. I love the gusto with which Chris Harrison announces the final rose every week. You’d think after all these years he would have lost some umph but the man brings it every week. Naomi gets the rose and Jason sends ole tight face back to her daughter. I may have made fun of her a lot but I will admit to shedding a tear with everyone on the show – damn you ABC for toying with my emotions!

Coming up next week – hometown visits including hilarious Canadian grandmothers, dead doves and more!